The Father Revelation

Growing up in Appalachia I listened to people and their theology. One common thread I found woven into almost everyone’s theology was that Jesus loved us, but you had better watch out for His Father. It was the Father God who had lightning bolts coming out of His fingers, and we needed Jesus to protect us from His wrath. So most of my life, even after conversion, I feared the Father and felt a big distance between us. Somehow I had come to the understanding that this was the way it was supposed to be. Anything less or more would be irreverent and would get us into deeper trouble with an angry God. So I fell into the trap of Bible-belt religion, believing in a loving Jesus and an angry Father.

Then in 2003 I went to the Toronto Renewal in Toronto, Canada. It was the fall of the year and the leaves were evidence of the change of the seasons. I arrived in Michigan and rode with a friend to Toronto. I have to admit I was nervous. I had heard plenty about the Toronto Renewal and had been hesitant about going. I remember like yesterday riding into Toronto that night. It was already getting dark. The lights of the city were coming on. My plan was to find a seat in the back and just observe. I had heard about all the wild stuff that was happening there. Laughter and other extremes had gotten them lots of criticism. So what was I doing there? I had no idea. I just knew I wanted to experience in this life all that there is to experience of God. I had planned to eat the meat and spit out the bones.

Arriving at the church, I found a seat in the back because that was the only place where there were any vacant seats. The huge auditorium was packed out. Sure enough people were laughing, crying, hollering, running around, and doing almost everything. I kept a low profile that night. I was not offended by anything although it was way outside my box. I later realized that when you become desperate, as I was at that time in my life, it is harder to be offended. I may not have liked or understood everything I saw or heard, but I was after God and man could only be a small distraction in comparison to what I was looking for. Even if something seemed like a distraction, it didn’t hold my attention long, because I was looking for something really big. There were aspects of God I wanted to see and I am thankful I kept my eyes open long enough to see some of it.

One day a little guy who called himself the Jester came up and tried to shoot me with a play gun. The weird thing was that when he shot me, I felt like God touched me through this simple act. Eventually I did some weird things myself. We won’t even mention them here, not that I am ashamed or afraid, but because that is still not the main focus. Manifestations are never to be the main focus. There is something greater. Needless to say, I loosened up some. Compared to those around me, it may not have looked like I loosened up, but I did. My heart and my mind were really loosening up. Each speaker and each message touched something deeper in my heart.

Most of the messages were about the Father. Everyone seemed to be so in love with the Father. So many scriptures were being opened up about the love of the Father. It was like big flood lights were revealing the Father unlike anything I had ever seen, heard, or imagined. My theology was changing without me even knowing it. I began to see loving Jesus and loving Father. I began to see them as an exact representation of each other (see Hebrews 1:3). Then I got the biggest revelation I may have ever received in a lifetime. Suddenly, I realized that Jesus didn’t come to shield me from an angry God, but He came to connect me to the Father. He came to show us the Father. He came to bridge the gap between the world and the Father. The life, death and resurrection of Jesus would bridge the gap between God the Father and man. Jesus came to invite us to know Him as Abba.

I can remember so clearly how I struggled with the word Abba, which means Papa. I would try to address the Father as Papa or Daddy and it was hard. Even in my discomfort with saying it, I continued to call Him Papa. It took a long time for it to become easy. A couple of years later, I was helping with a women’s retreat. It had been a very special moment in the retreat and I was closing with prayer. I said, “You are a good Papa” and there was a peace that came into that place unlike anything I had ever known. It seemed everyone was touched by that simple line. It was then that I knew I was in love with a Father that was the sweetest God that man could ever know.

As the years have passed this revelation has increased. My view of the Father has become my cornerstone for how I build. It is the foundation of my theology (study and beliefs about God) and it is sweet. Jesus is perfect theology and He came to show us the Father. Everything Jesus did, the Father does the same. Jesus was kind (except for a couple of times) and so is Father. Jesus had compassion and so does Father. Jesus rejoiced (jumped up, and twirled around) and so does Father. The Father sings over us, dances, and laughs. Jesus was humble and it was illustrated in His washing the disciples’ feet. It would not surprise me if upon entering heaven, that my Father might just meet us there and wash our feet while saying, “enter into the joy of the Lord.” Father created and Jesus worked along beside Him. They are so alike. There is no division in them. One is just like the other. This great love we have is about loving Jesus and loving Father. Study the heart of Jesus and you will better know the heart of the Father. Jesus only did what He saw the Father doing. Jesus said only what He heard the Father saying. What a team. What a revelation. What a Father.

Written Words

Written words are a source of blessing, power and encouragement. The prophets wrote what God revealed to them. These prophecies remained and were even quoted by Jesus. There was power in the written word for Jesus as He told satan, “It is written.“ The apostles wrote letters that still remain today. In order for us to be good stewards of revelation, we must discipline ourselves to record and write. Dreams and visions need to be recorded. Revelations that come to us need to be written down. Special times of God’s grace, even the smallest of details that can be easily forgotten, need to be recorded so that we may read the words later and be inspired, provoked, or simply reminded of what God has said to us and done for us.

It is still a blessing and sometimes even humorous for me to read journal entries of special times in my life. One such entry was in the spring of 1993. I was in Linz, Austria with a mission team visiting the Romanian church there. Many of the Romanian people had immigrated into Austria during the communist era. On a beautiful evening we got ready and drove into town for the evening service. Arriving at the service, I suggested to one of the guys that we sit near the window. It was hot and a cool breeze was coming in the window. I noticed that all the women and girls were sitting on that side of the room. They smiled at us and occasionally would laugh or whisper. Being Americans, we knew we were often under the close scrutiny of the people we were visiting, however, after a while we finally figured it out. We were sitting in the women’s section. During prayer we quietly moved over to the men’s section.

They eventually introduced us and asked each of us to give a testimony of our faith. Four of us sang a couple of songs while Gabriel played for us. Not the angel Gabriel. Gabriel was a Romanian youth that we had befriended. Another young man named Radul and some of his soccer friends invited us to play the next day. I hadn’t ever played soccer but was excited about the invitation. These guys were members of a national team. Somehow it wasn’t entering my mind that they were pros. So, we were up early the next morning and ready to go.

Gabriel and Radul picked us up to take us to the park. It was a holiday. Several others were already there in a beautiful open field with trees around it. We gathered around and sang some songs with the accompaniment of a guitar and trumpet. We sang, “How Great Thou Art,” “Soon and Very Soon” and some other songs. This was probably my first experience with park ministry. I loved it. Then the games began.

Radul had played for two years on the Austrian soccer team. We chose teams and I ended up on his team. There were about eight on each team. Although I was only in my mid-thirties, I was the oldest one playing and with very little knowledge of the game. The weather was really hot. At one point when I had the ball, I kicked three times and I missed each time. Once I turned a flip. I did actually hit the ball a few times; I blocked a few times, but we ended up getting beat three to one. However, I wrote in my journal, “This is a historical event for me, and I will always remember my first, and maybe last, soccer game.“

After that game, we went to the water trough to get some water. Then, we sang some more. We added an accordion to the mix this time. They were a repressed people living in a distressed land but they were so happy and joyful. They had not hung their harps upon the willows. Their joy was contagious. Winning the game wasn’t as important as just receiving the joy of life. Life was just flowing through everyone as we celebrated holiday. I never even asked what holiday it was…. looking back, maybe it was only what American’s call a vacation day. It was a momentous day.

Reflecting and reading this almost twenty years later makes me appreciate the passion and discipline of writing. Otherwise I would have forgotten lots of small details. Sure, I will always remember the game, but not the score. I will always remember Austria, but may forget what songs we sang in the park on holiday. May we let the power of our written words encourage us and inspire us to live life abundantly. May our recorded dreams and visions increase continually. It is also my hope that our dreams be more plenteous than our memories. Recording our memories can spark new dreams. Recording our memories can help us to endure until our dreams are realized.

Caleb, the one who spied out the Promised Land but had to wait many years to actually step into it again, even at the ripe old age of eighty-five, said, “Give me my mountain.” (Joshua 14) He had not grown weary waiting for the actualization of his dream. The memory of the wonders he had seen forty-five years earlier was still fresh to him, making him as strong as he had been the day he saw the Promise. May our dreams be vibrant and our will and even our bodies be ready to take our mountains – even those we dreamed about half a life-time ago.

Storm Training

The following writing is not in any way being uncaring or judgmental of those who have experienced loss and even death in the recent storms that have hit the South. May God's peace rest over all the destruction. It is my prayer that these words will offer some insight into ways of preparing for the next ones.

Our region here in the Appalachian Mountains has been hit hard with the storms. Jesus faced some storms. A deeper look into the storms Jesus faced can give us insight on how to handle storms today, naturally and spiritually. With increasing storms in the natural and in the spiritual, it would do us good to understand how to provide more protection for our households and communities.

The Gospels tell about a couple of storms that Jesus was involved in (see Matthew 8 and 14). In the first storm, Jesus was asleep when the disciples awakened Him. They were alarmed, because a storm had suddenly come upon them. In the second storm Jesus came walking on the water to his disciples who had been caught out in the midst of the lake. There is encouragement with both examples. In one storm Jesus was already on the boat with them, and the other storm He was on His way to them.

There are times that we may feel that the Lord is with us in the storm. We feel the presence of the Lord and we aren’t fearful. Yet there are other times that we feel sure the Lord is with us but we still feel fear. The disciples knew Jesus was on board, however, He was asleep. This concerned them and they awakened Him wondering if He even cared if they lived or not. With this kind of attitude from the disciples, Jesus knew He needed to correct their lack of faith and trust. Jesus does care if we live or die. He cares for the birds and flowers. He cares about each of us. This is foundational trust and faith. This is the rock we build upon and the storms cannot sweep us from this foundational truth. He cares.

There are other times that we may feel alone in the storm and begin to cry out for the Lord to come to our rescue. The Psalmist talks of a time of trouble in which people cried to the Lord and the Lord brought them out of their distress. He continues to tell how the Lord caused the storm to be still. This excited the people when the storm was quieted (see Psalm 107:28-30). It is always exciting when God shows up and quiets the storm. We often relate storms to trials and tests in life and that is a good comparison. However, there are times that natural storms come, and just like the trials of life, the Lord also desires to quiet them. When Jesus came walking to the disciples on the lake, He acted as if He was going to pass them by. I believe He did this to offer them the opportunity to call out to Him and to receive Him into their boat. It became a choice. It still is a choice. No matter how hard the storms are hitting upon us, it is a time that we can invite Jesus into our boats. He may even challenge us as He did Peter with something new…like walking on water. Or, He may ask us to take charge and speak to the storm.

In these stories about the storms, there is another beautiful nugget. Jesus quieted the storms. He spoke to the wind. Jesus was modeling the way we can face storms. Jesus said that we would do greater works than He did (see John 14:12). Speak to the storm. It isn’t as hard as it seems. Just, simply tell the wind to be quiet. The first time you do this it may get louder but stand your ground. A tree may even fall close by but stand your ground. Be stern (not necessarily loud) and command the wind to be quiet. There are those who may be immature who think they can just control the wind and rain whenever they want. I am talking about times in which you or your family are in danger. I feel this is a way that we care for them much like we provide food and clothes. We can speak peace to the storms and we can speak protection over our homes.

This does not mean that those who have suffered loss didn’t have faith. However, we cannot ever allow the tragedy of yesterday to hinder us in moving towards new levels of faith that will bless us in the future. An example of this kind of hindrance is when a person has prayed several times for healing and comes to the conclusion that it is not God’s will to heal them. There are great testimonies of people who have let go of past prayer attempts that seemed to fail and asked afresh and anew. They experienced powerful healing. The mercies of the Lord are new and fresh each morning. If it seems we have failed in an area to reach God, push the thoughts back and reach for God again. If a storm knocks you down once, face the next one with greater resolve. Step outside the traditional box and speak to the storm. Tell the wind to be quiet. The same power that raised Jesus from the dead resides in every believer (see Romans 8:11). May each storm we face only make us stronger to silence it quicker.

Soul Patrol

Much of what we do and say can be a product of the soul. Through our emotions we can easily react from our hurt and pain. Our past can still play an unhealthy part in our future. However, there is a higher and better way. These times call for us to walk and react from a spirit that has been ignited by the Holy Spirit. We need to watch for, and discern if we are responding from our soul (usually identified as emotions) or our spirit. The writer of Hebrews tells us that the Word of God will help us to divide spirit and soul. The Word discerns the very intents and thoughts of our heart (see Hebrews 4:12).

There are those who are tired of living in continual response to their soul. This breed of people are willing for the Lord to be hard, even ruthless with them. They are willing for the Lord, and others, to call them out on ways that are soulish. Even the very hint of soulish reaction is sickening to them, and they want it to be detected and corrected. There are a people arising in the earth that are tired of the ways of man and ready for the ways of God. Are you one of these persons?

If you still enjoy expressing your opinion, and struggle with silence when around other people, then you probably aren’t in this group. If you have lots of preferences and you are offended when it doesn’t go your way, then you may not be ready to arise and shine in this hour. If you find yourself trying to push your ideas in a subtle way and you often have hidden agendas, your soul needs to die so that your spirit can arise. You have work to do. You need soul patrol.

Our nation and our region are very soulish. We live selfishly. Sometimes it is as though we think we are the smartest and wisest people to ever live. We believe that our opinion counts most. Christianity in America is not much different. It is like a disease in the body of Christ as the people of God carelessly push their opinions, preferences and ideas. Very little of what we do is birthed in the secret place. God longs to birth desires in us that are stronger than any opinions, preferences or ideas. He wants to birth through you His ideas – His ways. The reward of fulfillment is powerful when God births the desires. There is a new breed arising. It may take deeper darkness for them to be revealed but they are arising and they have healing in their wings and restoration in their dreams!

Many years ago when these mountains of Appalachia were being settled, the people came with a song. Sometimes it was a sad song. Because of their trials and loss they sang a sad dirge. Years later country music capitalized on this feeling with an offering of many sad songs. These songs spoke of their loss and hard times. It was the sound of their soul as they struggled to pioneer these mountains. It was the cry from deep within them much like the Israelites in Egypt wanting a better day. These mountains are ready for a better day and a higher sound. It will be a sound of hope and affirmation of what God is doing. Words of hopelessness will give way to songs about the beauty of the Lord. Through declaration and proclamation of God’s higher ways, we will begin to hear hope proclaimed throughout these mountains! This will change the land and the people!

The children of God must be forerunners in the awakening of the slumbering people and the blessing of the land. For many it will require a new mindset. Many will have to step outside the box of their emotions and proclaim the goodness of the Lord by the strength of the Spirit. Many have lived in the mindset of loss and pain for so long that conversations about it seems to comfort them. If it has become a crutch for them, they won’t easily give up all they have ever known. Yet, it is time for the weak to say they are strong and learn to walk a new walk.

A few years ago, a lady from another nation had a recurring dream. In the dream she could see a mountain range on fire. The fire was so intense that the animals all ran into the valley below to escape the fire. She knew in her spirit that great revival fires were coming to a region somewhere in the world. She was wealthy and traveled to different areas. While descending down towards Tri-cities Airport, she looked upon this region of the Appalachian Mountains. This was the place she had dreamed about.

There is fire coming upon the mountains. It will be intense because of the power of the Lord upon the people that carry it. Animals react from what they have known and feel. Could it be that they could represent soulish behavior? This fire will burn the soulish opinions, preferences, and ideas out of us. This movement of the Spirit will free us to more readily take the powerful fire of God to the people of these mountains. Some desire the fire of God and there are some that are afraid of the fire. For some we will have to take a candle to them because they are afraid of a bonfire. Learning to listen to our spirits as they are ignited by Holy Spirit will enable us to know who needs a candle.

In order to prepare ourselves for such a great work that will bless future generations, we must begin with ourselves. We must allow the Lord to be ruthless with our soulish opinions, preferences and ideas. We need to be on soul patrol. Most of us have seen the evidence of soulish activity and are tired of going around the same tree. To encourage someone in their soulish activity is only allowing them to remain babies in the spirit. Leaders need to learn to shake their heads more in regard to the ideas that are poured out to them. Leaders especially must know the way of the Spirit - the direction birthed in the secret place. It is time to move many of our older believers out of the nursery. If there has been no evidence of change in ten years, then something is terribly wrong. We have allowed soulish believers to lead and teach us without any evidence that they have been with Jesus. When we take the time to be with Jesus, it will change us and it won’t take ten years to do it. We never encounter Him without becoming more like Him.

Move over soul, for the sons and daughters of God are being revealed and their spirits are aflame! The beauty of their feet are being seen upon the mountains! Like the deer, they will take to the high places. They will leap and run with an energy that can only be birthed in Spirit. Their passion will be strong and undying. It is so worth allowing “soul patrol” to have its way with us now, so that we can be a part of what the Father is doing. The resounding Amen of God prepares to echo across the Appalachian Mountains. Sons and Daughters of God rejoice!

The Coming Storm

As I have watched the storms which have come across the south lately I sense something deeper is happening. In my spirit I sense a greater storm coming. As I watch the natural disasters all over the world I sense that greater storms are coming. In America we watch our economy struggle and we wonder if a greater economic storm is on the horizon.

Joseph sensed that troubled times were coming although there were years of abundance. With the wisdom God gifted him with, he led the people to store up reserves during the times of abundance. Nations came to him during these times of great famine. His own family was constrained to come to Egypt during these troubled times. The Lord even prepared a place for them in the land of Egypt called Goshen. Years later it was a protected place of blessing in the midst of multiple plagues that came upon the nation in the days of Moses.

God always makes a way in the midst of storms. He is a storm traveler. He walks the dark hills and byways of life to show us the way. I believe that angels hold together fault lines that can break open the earth. Jesus calmed storms with simple commands and so can we. Food can still be multiplied to feed the multitudes. Nations can walk in health (see Psalms 105:37). There are unlimited blessings in the prepared place of the Lord.

During childhood days I remember a neighbor who prepared a special building because of her fear of storms. It was partially underground and well protected from the wind. This was a refuge for her and her family. I also remember that there was always information available about what to do in case of a nuclear bombing. We were encouraged to have a place suitable for such a happening. I have friends that are preparing food, water, and other needed items in case there is an economic breakdown. I refuse to live in fear but in wisdom I have started storing some canned food and water. Is storm protection necessary? I think so.

When we add together the wisdom of practical preparation and the supernatural provision of God we are of all men most blessed. This is good stewardship. I love how the Lord gives us wisdom for practical preparation and then adds His supernatural blessings. It is very fulfilling. But this can only happen as we position ourselves in the place He is calling us to be. These are serious times and they call for our careful alignment with the ways of God. It is not about how much noise we are making but it is about being in simple obedience with His plans and purposes in our lives. A wheel out of balance will still roll. It will make some noise going down the road but it has to eventually be fixed. Are we allowing God to fix us?

When the Israelites made their journey to Egypt, during the days of famine, they were unaware that God had prepared a special place for them to live. They thought they were just making a food trip. They did not know that their past was about to bless them. They had sold their brother into slavery several years earlier but now this brother was the keeper of the storehouses. What they had meant for evil the Lord was about to turn around for good. This brother (Joseph) invited them to stay in the land of Egypt for the remainder of the famine. They ended up staying 400 years. Because they were shepherds and the Egyptians were cattlemen, they needed to be separated. The land of Goshen was a separated land given to the Israelites. It was a fruitful land and the people multiplied until the Egyptians feared their growth and began to put them into bondage.

When the 400 years had expired, God was ready to move His people out of Egypt. Egypt didn’t want to let them leave. As the plagues came upon the land to force the hand of Pharaoh to let them go, something supernatural was happening in Goshen. Hail was falling all over Egypt but not in Goshen. Swarms of flies were filling the land but not in Goshen. The Lord said that He would set apart the land of Goshen and that there would be no flies where His people lived. This would be the evidence that the Lord was in the midst of the land (see Exodus 8:22). The Israelites were living in the midst of the storm but they were protected.

We are about to see the evidence of the Lord in our midst unlike anything we have ever seen. It is sad that it often takes a dark storm for us to see the greatest works of God. A diamond always looks so beautiful against the darkness of a black velvet cloth. It sparkles in its majesty. Many will marvel as they see the hand of God provide for His people. They will stand in greater awe as the people of God give to the multitudes who failed to bring any food with them (see Matthew 14). We are distributors taking our food from the hand of the Lord and giving to the multitudes. We are the middle-man visited by friends at midnight who need bread. Although we may not have much bread we have a friend (Jesus) that we can call upon so we can give to those who are in need (see the parable of the friend that comes at midnight Luke 11:5).

Our responsibility for these times is to be in alignment with God. We need to be rightly positioned. Stubbornness is fatal in these times. We need to move when we sense He is leading us to do so. We need to prepare even simple things, when we sense His leading. Some will need to stay where they are while others will have to take the most challenging steps of faith. Some will be called to stay in places that seem dead. They will remain in these dry places to be an inspiration of faith. Meanwhile, others will need to join with strong believers to usher in the supernatural manifested glory into our cities. Remember the positioning is of utmost importance. Increased time of seeking God and knowing His heart will supply us with the wisdom that will help us to know which one to do. These are the times to know what the Father is doing and to hear what He is saying. Failure to do so can be harmful or fatal.

Since I don’t consider myself normal, I will admit I often enjoy storms. While at the ocean I love to watch the storms come in while standing on the safety of a balcony. I feel an excitement as the thunder rolls in the distance. I don’t like for the lightning to get very close. That is a little outside of my comfort zone. So, you might say, I like a nice storm. The storms that are coming will be hard ones so it is my desire to be in the prepared place of the Lord. I also want to help others find their right place. For many it will be safe and secure places. Like the manager who ushered about a hundred people into a safe place during a recent storm, and helped save their lives, we will be used of God to do just that. Others will have to stand in unsafe places. Remember God is good, but not always safe. Sometimes He puts us out there in the fire. Sometimes it requires our life.

One of my favorite memories of a storm was in the spring of 1993. There were many firsts for me that day. I had never been on a big airplane before. I had never been outside the United States. Traveling over Greenland that night, on our way into Europe, we came into some major storms. The airplane was bouncing up and down it seemed. I knew this trip was in the plans of God and I was rightly positioned in Him. I simply adjusted my seat back and turned on my tape player (it was the 90’s) and listened to Ray Boltz sing “The Anchor Holds”. I had never felt more secure in my life.

There is a coming storm. As we sense it in the natural, we sense it in our spirit. We need to make sure we are in the right place doing the right things. We need to make sure we are hearing what the Father is saying to us. These times demand a personal relationship with the Creator of the Universe. Times are changing. What grace used to allow now calls us to change (see Acts 17:30). The eleventh hour looks different. Traditions can become powerless. The way we always did it may not work anymore. Pride in our stubbornness can be fatal. As the mighty eagle waits on the rock high in the mountains watching the approaching storm may we stand on our rock, Christ Jesus. With the first gust of wind the eagle screams and takes flight. May our obedience send a scream into hell itself as this generation takes flight into the storm of all storms.

A Nuclear Baptism

Returning from a four-day adventure in the Carpathian Mountains, I hurriedly changed into a clean pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. I was excited to be back in Kiev because a baptismal service had been planned for all the new converts. We boarded the bus and left the city for the lake. It was a huge lake with a beach area around the shore. Most of the people that were going to be baptized had walked the long distance from the city. I took off my shoes and walked along the shore. The local pastors told me that the lake was contaminated. It had radioactive chemicals from the Chernobyl accident that had occurred just north of the lake. The wind had carried the nuclear poison down upon the lake and the city. This had resulted in many of the children dying and many adults had suffered from the nuclear accident.

One of the cruel aims of communism was to poison the people and to sicken them of life. They had hoped that this would only leave the people with the option to lean upon the system in their despair. But the system had fallen a couple of years earlier. This opened up the door for another offer. The Lord desires and invites people to lean upon Him. He is a secure shelter in extreme times of trouble. The people who could not even lift their heads to look at each other were encountering the One who is the lifter of our heads (see Psalms 3:3). They were joyous and they were ready to be baptized as a testimony to the world of a new life.

The minister of the Kiev church hesitantly invited me to assist in the baptismal service. I was informed that upon entering the water that my skin would never be the same. I didn’t hesitate for a second. This was a historical moment and I was born for such a time as this.

The service began with upbeat music and singing that caused many onlookers to stay for the service. Those being baptized were dressed in white robes just above the knee. The water was cold for June and it partially caught my breath. We kept going out into the lake until the water was at the top of my shoulders. Each of the candidates for baptism eagerly waded out as their turn came. They were asked three questions concerning their faith in Christ. They excitedly cried out, “Da, Da!!!” which means, “Yes, Yes!!!” They were so excited about their baptism. The men were baptized first. The Ukrainian pastor and I held up our right hands and he pronounced the declaration. We then took them backwards into the water. This resulted in my getting water in my eyes and upon my face. I had also been told to try to keep from getting the water into my mouth but it was soon in my mouth also.

I still remember so clearly, that as this poisonous water covered my body, I declared in my heart the scriptures that no deadly thing can hurt me (see Mark 16:18). My faith had been overwhelmingly strong on the trip and this was just one more hurdle to jump. I had trusted in scriptures that had not seemed so important back in America. This was good. There were almost a hundred people in the poisonous water proclaiming new life in Christ. I was tired as the last one stepped forward, but my heart’s desire, as recorded that day in my journal, was that I could baptize the entire nation. It was a new day as communism had recently fallen and many were embracing a new life of freedom.

The service lasted about three hours. After the baptisms were over there was a reenactment of the story of Naaman (see II Kings 5). It was a beautiful drama. The man who played the part of Naaman dipped in the water seven times. When he came up the seventh time, to show that he was healed, the people went wild with joy. A man in a boat pulled ashore to watch the story being played out. Many had gathered along the shore. What a great witness to people who had never heard the story before. Jesus is our healer.

Each of the people that were baptized was given a white flower and a Bible. We had acquired the Bibles from some doctors who had been there on mission and were going back to America. Each of our team took part in the presentation of the flowers and Bibles. My clothes were almost dry by then. The sun was hot and I felt like I was burning for Jesus with a passion that I had not yet felt before. I didn’t know it then, but I was rising to a new kind of normal. This passion would consume me in the years ahead. There would be times that it would wane, but with just a little wood thrown onto the embers, the passion would rise and burn.

Leaving out on the bus, I watched the people begin their long journey back into the city. They were waving at us as we passed. I had struggled so hard to understand their language, but nevertheless, I had bonded with them. I loved these people that I had been taught to hate while growing up in America. I remembered as a kid, riding down the road in the back of a truck and hollering out that the Russians were coming. Although we were just having fun, we still feared the Russians because we believed that someday they would conquer us. We had been told that they were our enemies.

My team said to me, “You have made us proud today.” As I looked out the window and saw the lake become smaller behind us and the city looming before us, I began to cry and I heard another voice. So softly the love of God washed over me and I heard Him say, “Someday you can be with them in Heaven and you will understand their language.” There will be no sad farewells. My eyes find tears… even now…. after almost twenty years as I write about that day.

Repentance

God is calling us to repentance. He is calling us to repentance of our actions and our ways. Jeremiah encouraged the people to reform their ways and their actions (see Jeremiah 7:5). It seems most of our attention is towards trying to change our actions when the Lord is wanting to go much deeper and change our ways.

There are times that we seem to be unable to draw near to God. In these times we often begin to search our lives for sin. Usually we find several sins that could be causing the lack of peace in our spirits. However, there may be times that we have confessed before God all the acts of sin we can think of and still have no peace. The heavens may still seem like brass. We feel unable to penetrate it. We become more frustrated because we don’t know what we have done wrong. We don’t know what to repent of. This is a good time for us to allow the Holy Spirit to show us how to change our ways.

We may be confessing and receiving forgiveness of our actions and still overlooking our ways that need repentance. A good example of this is found in the story of Saul and David. Both were anointed to be King of Israel. Both sinned. David was forgiven, yet Saul was rejected by God. The sins of David included “the big sins” of adultery and murder… but he was forgiven. Psalm 51 is a result of his confession and repentance. The sins of Saul were impatience and trying to please his people. Most of us would have plenty of opinion on whose sins were the worst. However, upon confession and asking of forgiveness, the repentance of Saul was rejected. God must not think like most of us think.

What was the difference? It was a matter of the heart. David sinned, but his heart was after God’s heart. Much like Jesus, David wanted to say what God was saying and he wanted to do what he could see God doing. He hungered deeply to follow the ways of God. Although he messed up big time, his desire was for God‘s desires. To understand Saul’s heart we must look at the story in I Samuel 15. Saul was told to destroy the Amalekites and all that they had. However, after the battle the Israelites destroyed all that was bad and saved all that was good. They even let the king live. They allowed the sheep, oxen, and lambs to live. After all, why would anyone destroy little lambs? Saul proudly announces to the Prophet Samuel that he had obeyed all that God has asked him to do. Samuel hears the bleating of the sheep and asks Saul about it. He responds that the people wanted to keep the good stuff. He explains that even some of the animals could be used for sacrifice unto God. Samuel responds that obedience is better than offering sacrifice. Saul began his repentance. He confessed that he had sinned and asked the Prophet Samuel to go with him to the place of worship so that the people might see them worship together. The Prophet refused to go with him and informed Saul that God had rejected him as king over Israel. However the Prophet Samuel grieved much over God’s rejection of Saul. In this story we see the heart of Saul wanting to please the people more than God. Even in the midst of his repentance, his heart was still concerned with pleasing the people.

Often we are so ready to confess and repent of our actions but do not consider our ways. Scripture tells us that Israel knew the actions of God but Moses knew the ways of God (see Psalms 103:7). We too can know the actions of God by simply reading His book. We also can look around us and see His actions in our lives daily. But, to know the ways of God requires more. We can know the ways of God - He wants to show them to us. But this requires us to know Him intimately. We, just like Jesus must allow the Father to show us what He is doing and allow Him to share with us what He is saying. It is the same principle with sinful actions. Actions are pretty obvious. The law will show us our wrong-doing. Our conscience will usually alert us of our sinful actions… unless it is damaged by continual wrong-doing. Others are often quick to point out our actions that are sinful. So, we have good sources to help us know when our actions are wrong. However, to recognize our wrong ways requires much more examination.

How do we examine our ways? First of all, we can consider some of the foundational ways of God. He is faithful. He honors. He creates and builds up. That’s a few for starters. Now look at our ways. Are we faithful? Do we keep our word to others? Fifty years ago in America a handshake meant something. Does our handshake mean anything? Do we honor God and everyone around us? Are we allowing His creative gifts to flow through us? Are we building up others and what God has ordained? Are we good stewards of what He has given us to occupy and maintain?

A lesson learned from the story of Saul is to examine ourselves to see if we prefer pleasing God or people. People have opinions, suggestions, and preferences. So does God. Sometimes they are oceans apart. God’s ways are higher than the ways of man (see Isaiah 55:9). In our society we are often bombarded by opinions. This can mold us and make us. To please the heart of God we must continually ask for the renewing of our minds. Sometimes we have to erase all of our hard drive and reboot. Holy Spirit needs to reprogram us. Are we willing to allow this process?

The American Church loves to please man. We have countless programs to reach people but few that focus on searching out the heart of God. We love to please others. We are taught to be sensitive to others and to be careful not to offend. What if we are offending God? What if most of our works are birthed out of our own intellect, instead of seeking God’s direction in intimate conversation? What if our good works have not been birthed in the secret place listening to the heart of God?

To me the nightmare of all scriptures is Matthew 7:22-23. It is not a scripture hidden somewhere in the Old Testament. It is in the inaugural address of Jesus. It is in his first sermon…. called the Sermon on the Mount. He tells how there will be those who prophesy, cast out devils, and do many wonderful works. He tells these people to depart from Him because He doesn’t know them. They never entered into the intimate relationship with Him that He requires. There is a relationship that takes us beyond our actions and into seeking the ways of God. There is a passion that comes from the secret place that causes us to want His ways more than our own ways. It burns in us greater than the demand others may put upon us. Jesus followed this radical statement in Matthew 7 with a parable about building on the rock or on the sand. The words and ways of God are Rock solid. The ways, opinions, suggestions, preferences and ideas of man can be compared to sand. They will be washed away.

Another interesting day in the life of Saul is in I Samuel 13 when they are going to battle against another enemy called the Philistines. It was their custom to offer sacrifice to God before going into such a major battle. The Prophet Samuel was the only one authorized to offer such a sacrifice. Samuel was late. Saul noticed that the people were scattering because of the delay. He offered the sacrifice himself. Again, sacrifice unto God is a good thing but it was out of order. Saul was succumbing to the pressure of the actions of the people instead of waiting upon God’s man to get there.

Look at the order of things in this story. The Word is slow coming. The people are impatient. It seems like a good thing to go ahead and do something. How many times have we done exactly the same? We have not waited on the word (direction) of the Lord. People have pressured us with opinions, suggestions and good ideas. We have reacted with something good. We still feel empty and the heavens seem like brass. God’s Presence isn’t with us and we wonder why God has failed us. Maybe we even entertain the thought that God is angry with us. We just can’t figure out why. We are sure we have not done any wrongful actions, and if we have, we have made confession and asked forgiveness. What on earth could be wrong? Our ways are wrong! Repentance can be rejected if we refuse to reform our ways. We will feel a great divide between us and our God. Let’s study the ways of God and align ourselves accordingly even if it’s one way at a time. Let’s examine our hearts and see if there are ways that are unlike His. Let’s ask Holy Spirit to shine upon our ways so that we can see more clearly how to repent.