Scars

A scar can only come as the result of a wound being healed. There are scars that can be seen where the wounds were once plain to see. Still other wounds were deep and are now hidden with forgiveness and healing. A heart that has been wounded can have many scars but a process has to have happened. It is a process of forgiveness and healing. Without the process we have a wounded heart that still drips with pain.

While in my late teens I was helping a friend clear some river-land of heavy brush when I hit my knee with an axe. I still have the scar to remind me of that day so long ago. I had some large moles from birth that were later removed. They too left some scars behind. These scars are small compared to my inner scars left by hurt and deception. The inner scars are too many to list but each one has a story of its own. I didn’t cause any of them directly like I did with the axe and unlike the moles, they weren’t there at birth. They are a result of relationship pain and misunderstandings. Many of them are a result of opening my heart to trust but then to end up wishing I hadn’t. You know where I am coming from. It’s probably happened to you too.

In vision I can see so many of us walking around with hearts dripping with pain. It is as bothersome as a roof that leaks with a continuous drip. We can put buckets out to catch the drip but the roof still leaks. Many have used buckets to cope with the dripping pain. Metaphorically, the buckets are such things as drugs, alcohol, sex, material possessions, food, and the list goes on and on. If we can only fix the area that drips we can find great happiness. Let’s throw the buckets away. Healing on the inside is so valuable for living a life of abundance. Without healing, abundance means nothing.

While hiking in the mountains of North Carolina about twelve years ago I met another believer in Christ. He had been trained in how to receive inner healing. We sat down in a small gazebo that day and he began to lead me backwards and then forwards. We talked about the many pains of the past, one at a time, as they surfaced in my mind. Then he led me in a prayer or declaration of forgiveness towards the ones that had caused the pain. It took many hours. Much like a hiker who looses his backpack, I walked off the mountain as free as air. I had let go of shame, unforgiveness, and even hate. I had never seen this guy before and I have never seen him since. I do not even know his name. He is one of the faceless people that blessed my life in leading me in the process of turning wounds into scars. I have often wondered why he spent so much time with me. He probably has no idea of how much I have freely talked about many of the wounds and showed my scars as a positive result. Scars are a more pleasant sight to share than open wounds.

The process was so simple. After praying and asking Holy Spirit to bring to mind the wounds, we just simply waited for them to surface. As the pain surfaced we asked Jesus to heal the wound and then I made the decision to forgive anyone that caused them. One by one the wounds turned into scars. You can do the same thing. Do it alone or with a friend. Start turning the inner wounds into scars. There are also inner healing seminars and meetings sponsored by churches that you can be a part of. It is our season to turn wounds into scars. The pain is gone and the testimony is all that needs to remain. Any testimony of Jesus doing something in us is an opportunity for someone else to receive the same (see Revelation 19:10).

It is impossible to live in our fullest potential and step into the abundant things of God with dripping wounds. The soldier returning from the battle field must submit to the physician. It is here that he recovers and is restored at the hands of the physician. Jesus is the Great Physician. I can’t show you my scars on the inside, but you can see the results of the healing. He heals from the inside out.

Maintaining Simplicity

In the early years of Interstate Christian Fellowship, we met in the conference room of Holiday Inn. Things were very simple then. It is a simplicity I continually try to maintain. I remember, in those early times that some friends I had met on my trip to Argentina were in town for a visit. As we prepared to leave for Sunday morning services at the Holiday Inn they shared a word with me. They felt that a visitor would have an important message for me on that particular morning. The visitor would be a woman dressed in a simple black dress. I kind of dismissed the idea since there were very few ladies that wore dresses to our contemporary services. During worship I looked back over the audience and sure enough, there was a lady in a black dress. She entered into worship and came up to speak to me at the end. She only said a couple of things, but one thing she said forever remains in my mind. She said, “Keep it simple.” I still wonder if she was an angel that we were entertaining unawares.

Some time later a minister visited us from Florida. I had not ever met the minister and I think he was kind of passing through and was staying at the motel. He also came up after the service and said about the same thing. He said, “When you get out of this conference room and get established in your own building, continue to keep it simple.” These messages continued to burn in my spirit because it was the same thing God was saying to me over the years. His ways are higher than our ways but He isn’t complicated. He is the Father of creative thoughts and ways… yet he asked Adam to name the animals. Adam named them in the language of the day later translated in our language to dog, cow, cat, bear, lion…. Kind of simple I think.

One of the most profound things we can do in these chaotic times is keep it simple. The world rushes on. Religion is always busy, extremely active, and promoting lots of hard work. The things of God are perverted from simplicity to a complicated and complex way of service. We love the message and story of Jesus taking a child and requesting that we keep our faith like that of a child. However, we neglect to guard our hearts to keep it childlike. We take pride in our maturity as if it is God calling us to a more complicated life. We are definitely expected to mature but we are to keep a childlike nature in our relationship with God. He is Abba. He is Daddy. He considers those who keep such an attitude as the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven (see Matthew 18:1-5). This is so different from man’s way of thinking.

We are to be childlike but not childish. Childlike involves simplicity, honesty, trust, and excitement about simple things. Children have a sense of innocence and humility. They are very teachable. These are qualities that we must maintain in our walk with Christ. Simplicity maintenance is often hard in our times. It is normal to complicate almost every situation because of our access to technology and new inventions. There are so many new and old programs that beckon our attention. This has been a very soulish generation. We continue to nurture our emotions by biting into anything that looks good or feels good. We offend Holy Spirit by choosing our soulish ideas over His deeper ways. We must return to Holy Spirit leadership received in childlike attitude or we are headed for burnout. Most of us have experienced so much derailment that we have a phobia of climbing on the train again. We have gone around the same mountain so many times we are left hopeless and empty. People who do the same thing over and over without any results are insane. Is there anybody out there who is tired of religious insanity?

On the other side of the coin let us address the problem of being childish. While most Christians struggle to maintain Christ-like simplicity, many fall into being childish. Being childish is failing to mature. For a grown man to suck on his thumb seems ridiculous. However, in the church we pacify such actions. We have glorified the crib. If there is ever a generation that must repent for staying in the spiritual crib, it is this generation. Multitudes of believers have refused to move from the crib. As the writer of Hebrews encourages us, we must move on from elementary things to greater maturity (see Hebrews 6).

The glorified crib of our times comes in many forms. It comes in our reluctance to grow even when it is painful. It comes in the form of our doubt that we can do the greater works that Jesus encouraged us to do. It comes in our comfort of doing the same thing over and over because that is just the way we have always done it.

It is much easier to hole up in a church building a couple of times a week and hear a pep talk and sing lullabies, than to go out to the streets and heal the sick. It is much easier to congregate in a building and follow a new program every quarter than to intercede for our community and storm heaven through prayer to know the heart of God for our cities. It is easier to follow the ways we already know than to step outside the box and do something different as Holy Spirit leads. It is easier to be a settler than a pioneer. It is easier to follow than to lead. It is easier to float downstream with all the trash than paddle upstream or on a less traveled tributary. It is often hard to travel the road less traveled. We have been in the spiritual nursery for so long that anything different would come as a culture shock. God is calling this generation to repentance. The simple heart will follow Jesus wherever He leads. His word is simple in its instructions. He pushes for relationship with His Father and love for our fellowman. He sends us with a message of hope and good news. He empowers us to heal and to move mountains. He equips us to be deployed to make disciples of all nations. He is good but his ways are not always safe. The path can be treacherous and many will lose their lives along the way.

I recently heard the story about a million Chinese believers that intend to walk the journey to Jerusalem. They must cross many nations that are not accepting of Christianity. They are prepared for many to lose their lives to the journey. In some places there may be a life lost each step of the way. Do they think of canceling the trip? No way. Does this sound even close to American Christianity? I don’t need to answer that. A simple march. A simple way of life. A simple faith. A simple way of worship. A simple way of doing church. A simple way of living for Christ. Which of these is Christ calling you to?

New Kind of Normal ~ Courage

It takes courage to live in the midst of our fears and accomplish the things God has purposed for us to do. It is in the midst of fear that we are called to take action. There are times we are gifted with supernatural courage. It is in these times that fear seems to vanish.

Fear is not always wrong. To back down and refuse to act because of fear is when it becomes wrong. Esther was stressed out when it seemed her people would be destroyed by the evil schemes of Haman. It took courage to call the people to a fast and to follow up with an unplanned entrance before the king. Jesus seemed stressed when sweat like drops of blood fell in Gethsemane. Courage and love caused Him to keep going forward with a resolute face to die for the salvation of humanity. There are times that fear will be in our heart but it cannot be allowed to control our future. It cannot define our boundaries.

There is such a long list of people in scripture that seemed to possess a courage that was beyond natural. I think of Caleb who took his mountain from the strongest of giants. I cannot forget David running towards Goliath. I can imagine the look in the eyes of Joshua as he boldly spoke of a present tense possibility of taking the promised land forty years before his nation took it. I remember how Nehemiah, with his laid back personality, just kept working on the walls of Jerusalem although the mail wasn’t good. I am encouraged by the apostles who would not back down from the threats. They rejoiced in being counted worthy to suffer persecution (see Acts 3, 5). These were men of courage. It was beyond normal.

Courage is more than an emotion or a feeling. It is a choice of faith and trust in God. Once these men of God said yes to what God was saying yes to, they were gifted with the courage to accomplish it. With their amen echoing the amen of God, they partnered with Him to do mighty things. Observing from a distance, one would think they were surrounded by an invisible shield of protection. An invisible aura seemed to hover over and around them. They were unstoppable. This is the kind of courage we need in these times.

There are so many ways to receive discouraging news in our times. The media is flooding us with bad reports. We are often tempted to imagine the worst and we can see ourselves in the middle of it. However, it is times like this that we are called to come higher. We are to catch the wind that causes us to go above the storms of fear. We cannot allow emotions to control our journey of faith and trust in our God. Succumbing to the emotions of fear and stress will rob us of life. He has called us to eternal life that already lives in us. No matter what our circumstances, we are called to life. One of my favorite scriptures is Isaiah 60:1,2 that encourages us to rise and shine. To arise, is to take action in the midst of the situation. To shine, is the result of courage taking its rightful place in our hearts.

Supernatural courage is adequately portrayed in the story of Jehu (see II Kings 9). Let’s gather gleanings from this great story. As the story begins Jehu is sitting with the captains of the army in Ramoth Gilead, one of the six refuge cities. There was safety and protection in the refuge cities. Jezebel is in Jezreel continuing her evil reign over the nation. Elisha is the prophet of God with a message for Jehu. Elisha sends his servant to Jehu with the message that he is to be the next king. The servant enters the refuge city and calls for Jehu. He takes him into an inner room and anoints him as the next king. Jehu comes out of the inner room with a new resolve – with a new anointing – with a new purpose. He rides furiously toward Jezreel to take over the kingdom and unseat the evil reign of Jezebel. And he does. He is the instrument in the hand of God to bring down the house of Ahab and Jezebel. He possessed supernatural courage.

In this story we see a guy holed up in a safe place. The church likes comfort. Even with injustice all around us we still like comfort, and most believers prefer not to make waves. Then a messenger comes and anoints us in the inner room. It is in the inner room that we often get the “thumbs up” from God and such clear direction challenges us to action. Jehu chooses to “ride furiously” towards that in which he was called to do. Will you ride furiously into what God has set before you? Jehu is the “Braveheart” of the Old Testament. His courage is a challenge to us to step into who God has anointed us to be – to destroy the work of the enemy in our spheres. After the inner room experience, a supernatural courage came upon Jehu, so that he had no fear. We need that inner room experience. We must step out beyond fear.

I have experienced times in which I have had to rise above my fears and choose to take action in the face of difficulty. I have also experienced times, when there seemed to be a presence around me that made me fearless. Years ago while undertaking a new project, I was met with strong opposition. I was blocked a couple of times on dead end roads and each time it required law enforcement to get me safely out. Our mailbox was beaten down and continual threats were made. There were a few times that I had to have a bodyguard to go with me to the bank and other public places. We were also escorted out of town to the home of a friend for several nights because of the threats. As I look back at those times I can almost see the shield of protection around my son and me. I felt such a strength. It was above the normal. I was never afraid. The Presence of God was so real that I can look back at those days and rate them as some of the best days of my life. I know what supernatural courage feels like. It is readily available from the hand of God for those who feel called towards difficult things. There stands a giant in every promised land. The gift of courage will take his head off.

Hope is Big

Our spirit is growing younger as our bodies tend to grow older. May I suggest that the reason our spirit is growing younger is because the flame grows brighter. Scripture tells us that the spirit of a man is the lamp of the Lord (see Proverbs 20:27). As we grow stronger in spirit the candle grows brighter. With growing strength in the inner man it is not strange that we feel younger. There is vitality and vigor of spirit that is fresh. It is like living water flowing out of our belly. Our spirit is ageless.

Holy Spirit inhabits our spirit at conversion. Holy Spirit continues to commune with our spirit in absolute perfect fellowship. As a result of this, our spirit connects with our soul (emotions, will, intellect…) and our flesh. This enables us to live a spiritual life instead of a carnal one. If our soul (emotions, will, intellect…) and fleshly desires are allowed to control us, we live a life that is not controlled by the Spirit. Scripture encourages us to walk in the Spirit. That is how we avoid fulfilling the desires of the flesh.

What does it look like to be led by the Spirit? Allow me to offer some examples. We will be people of great faith and trust. We will have extravagant love. We will have an abundance of hope. Love, hope and faith must abide in us (see I Corinthians 13:13). As we become strong in spirit, we will capture the pleasures of God that He has purposed for us. We will dream in color. We will have a flow of creativity that will mystify the world. We will not be controlled by circumstances. Our emotions will not imprison us. Our minds will be the home of brilliant intelligence. Wisdom will reign.
　
Real hope can only arise out of our spirit. Our soul is incapable of birthing real hope. For a short time our emotions may hope, but eventually it is deferred by circumstances and our heart becomes sick (see Proverbs 13:12). Therefore, we must become strong in spirit so that our spirits can continually birth new hope. Becoming strong in spirit is a process. Jesus and John the Baptist both went through the process. Scripture records how both became strong in spirit and they increased in wisdom (see Luke 1:80, 2:40). It was a process instead of an instant gift. Jesus chose to live as a man to model for us all the things we could do and what we can become as a man through His grace. Therefore, it was foundational for Him to grow strong in spirit. Jesus never lost hope. Even on the cross He could vision the glory that was set before Him. The glory of having sons and daughters like you and me that would likewise live like Him. There would be those in which persecution could not destroy their hope. There would be those who would become strong in spirit in their generations. Their culture would be changed because of their inner strength. Nothing could come against them to destroy such hope.

There are several ways to nurture the spirit of a man. Scripture as a whole provides the means for a strong inner man. One such menu contains two basic foods. They are milk and meat. The milk can be likened to those things that encourage and comfort us. The meat can be likened to those things that bring us to repentance and change. Sometimes we gravitate to the milk because we like comfort more than change. However, to become strong in spirit we will need both milk and meat. We will always need some milk. Encouragement and comfort are helpful for almost every season of our life. When we are presented with meat we can receive it or ignore it. If we choose to ignore or be offended by a strong word, it is our own loss. Every time we receive strong truth we have the grand opportunity to experience greater depths of freedom. Let’s run to the meat table. Enjoy a glass of milk and slowly digest the choicest of meats.

While in Argentina a few years ago we were invited to one of the finest restaurants in Buenos Aires. Our leaders had reserved the entire facility for a meal. This was our first meal in the country as we began a week of conference and work in the city. Argentina is known for it’s quality beef and it was no surprise that beef was the main course. I have to admit that there has never been anything to compare to the flavor of that beef. As the week progressed we were taught great truths about revival and spiritual warfare. Much of the teaching was new truth for me. I received it just like the beef. It was good and has stayed with me over the years. It was a part of the process of growing in spirit.

Wendy’s had a slogan in the mid 80’s called, “Where’s the beef?”. The lady is given a big hamburger bun with a small beef patty on it. She angrily exclaims, “Where’s the beef?” The phrase was continually repeated in films, television shows, and magazines. It eventually made it’s way to a song of the same title. It became a household phrase. May I suggest that this phrase could be asked of the American Church. We have focused on comfort and have refused much of the proceeding word of God that would lead us to repentance and change. We have the big hamburger buns. We have big buildings, facilities and programs. They have become enormous. Someone has said that the wealth contained in our church buildings alone would wipe out the hunger problem of the world. That is a sobering thought. There is very little meat in the American Church. At the present time we look as ridiculous as the big bun with a little patty on it. The world has a right to laugh at us.

Becoming strong in spirit also depends strongly on our relationship with the Lord. Our intimacy with Him makes us stronger in spirit. Rituals of prayer must give way to continual communion with Him. Quality must be set above quantity. It is not about how much time we spend in prayer as it is about what happens in that time. Then, as we grow, we will not be so concerned about going to prayer as we will desire continual communication with Him. We learn to pray without ceasing (I Thessalonians 5:17). George McDonald writes in The Curates Awakening, “Then we will hardly think of praying because God dwells in every thought.” That was a radical saying for the late 1800’s. I wonder if it is a strange saying for us now…. over a hundred years later. Are we able to receive strong meat? Are we getting it?

Fellowship also strengthens the spirit of a man. It is well pleasing to the Lord for us to join in fellowship with others. The writer of Hebrews tells us there are three sacrifices that really please the Lord. Praise and good works bring Him pleasure. The third on the list may surprise us. It is fellowship (see Hebrews 13:15, 16). It is in fellowship that we learn what is a strength to others. We often learn where the battle is. A good testimony will inspire us to trust for the same victory or breakthrough. Good fellowship will make the spirit stronger. This will not always happen in meaningless gatherings of habit, but it will surely happen when the Presence of the Lord is in the midst of people that are seeking Him with pure hearts. Iron will sharpen iron. Wisdom will arise. Hope will become wild and reckless. The kingdom of God will advance.
　
The Church has majored on faith and love. It has seemed bored with the subject of hope. However, hope is big. It is especially big as we watch our world seemingly spin around in uncertainty. It is big when the media magnifies hopelessness. When a society is addicted to the negative more than the positive, we need hope to survive. To counteract this atmosphere of hopelessness we must be people of hope. We need to speak and proclaim hope. When we feel hopeless we need to be quiet.

May this generation arise in hope. May it be such a powerful hope that even those that are weak among us are still powerful. Let us build such an atmosphere of hope that all things become possible. I believe that the young and old of this generation must merge as a generation of one vision. The old must, without relent become so strong in spirit, that hope and wisdom are their greatest offerings. Meanwhile, the youth, with their vitality will join with the fathers and mothers, to advance the kingdom of God greater than any generation that has ever lived. With this combination we will balance each others' weaknesses and strengths. Then it shall be said of us that there was not a feeble one amongst us. This is the manifestation of outrageous hope... ageless hope….

New Kind of Normal (The Journey Continues…. A History)

(Continued from last week's blog post: The Beginning of the Journey. See below.)

When I arrived back in Knoxville on that Friday evening of May 1998, I was still very excited. I was excited about sharing the new hope I had found while in Dallas. I was still pretty messed up emotionally, but it was a good "messed-up". I still felt drunkenness. I still felt the stomach punches coming rather often. I was laughing a lot. I even wondered if I would be able to drive back to Bristol. I was on a spiritual high and Jesus was buying the drinks. I figured plenty of people wouldn’t understand but it didn’t matter to me at all. I couldn’t think of a single person that I dreaded seeing.

Now I want you to understand, it wasn’t just crazy stuff that was happening to me. There was boldness and passion for revival burning in me. I prayed about which gas station to stop at because I felt God wanted me to share something with someone. I remember that there was only one single gas station at the exit I took - that made it easier. No one was in the station but the clerk, so that made it even easier. I can’t remember what all I shared, but as I left I was surprised to see the person bend forward as if they had gotten a stomach punch. Just in case you are tired of hearing about the stomach punches, that was the last evidence of the stomach punch I saw during that time. I felt some small touches in the weeks ahead but they faded out. I guess most of my re-birthing pains were about over.

However, the drunkenness and goofiness seemed to increase as I reached Virginia. The next day I had to go a couple hours north for a college graduation. I was so unsure of myself I asked one of our youth to drive me to the graduation. The young person was glad to do that for me, although I could tell there was confusion as I shared my story. The day went well. Then I began to make my plans for the following day which was Mother’s Day.

Mother’s Day 1998 will be a day I will never forget. If you remember any of my story from childhood, you might understand why Mother‘s Day is hard for me. My mother had struggled with the idea of having a sixth child during her change of life. My relationship with her was difficult. My mother had passed away fifteen years earlier and Mother’s Day was one of my least favorite days of the year. In the past I had done all of the Mother’s Day rituals, such as awards for the youngest and the oldest mothers and an award for the one with the most children. But, over the years, it had been my hardest day of ministry. This Mother’s Day was different. It was a blast.

Knowing I was still feeling tons of weird sensations, I needed someone to help me. I called the pianist and asked him for some help. I told him I would come in the back door behind the pulpit a little before the 11:00 worship service. I wasn’t about to go to Sunday school. He came back where I was, and I told him my plan was to just to make it to the pulpit. However, if I lost my train of thought, I needed him to whisper to me and tell me where I left my subject.

The service began and everyone seemed to be looking at me. I hadn’t done anything yet. The things I remember most about that hour was my overwhelming joy and how much I seemed to mess up. I would begin a sentence and forget what I was saying. The pianist would get me back on track and I would go on. I don’t think I did any awards for mothers. There was a child dedication for a little girl. I made it to the altar for that and began to pray for things that I didn’t normally pray for when dedicating children. I was even praying for her adult life and future husband. The parents were very understanding. I didn’t try to make it to the back of the auditorium to shake hands, so the people had to come up to the front to speak to me if they wished to do so. I will never forget the little old lady that asked me the question of the day. “Darrell, are you sure you haven’t had a light stroke?” My reaction to everything was to laugh.

Many were overjoyed with my experience. Some were not. I didn’t share a lot with the congregation about what had happened. I mostly shared about the possibility of revival in America and the meat of the messages I had heard in Dallas. I had a new interest in worship and that excitement was very evident. Otherwise nothing was said about stomach punches or the weird stuff. Those closest to me heard about all of that.

Out of concern, someone had called my family, because by mid-afternoon they came to visit me to see what was wrong. Of course I didn’t know of anything that was wrong. Things had never felt so right. I have no idea what I said to them and I haven’t dared to ask them yet. However by the time of the Sunday evening service, the crowd had gathered. Tons of people had come to see what was up. I have thought so many times about the words of John Wesley, “I just set myself on fire and the people came to watch me burn”. They did just that. Again, I can’t remember much about that night except that by the end of the service, I was lying on the altar laughing my heart out. The father of the child I had dedicated that morning was beside me doing the same.

The people slowly left looking back over their shoulder at the weirdest thing they had seen in a lifetime. I stayed at the altar. Eventually someone brought me the phone from my office. The youth leader had left the service and was calling back from a local restaurant. She was crying and told me she wouldn’t be able to come back anymore. Again, my response was the same - laughing my heart out. She came back and even visits where I pastor now.

The week continued with a small percentage leaving the church. Others embraced and liked the new me. Others didn’t leave, but in their own subtle way became the thorn in my flesh I needed to keep me humble. Plenty of things began to happen. I began to work harder with the other congregations in town. Worship became much more vibrant. I began to dream more. I recorded about 200 dreams in my journal in the next year or so. These dreams were powerful and held lots of insight. There was a new strength inside me that propelled me forward unlike anything I had ever known.

When Christmas 1998 came around there were those bears that had 98 written on the foot. I bought one to commemorate that year. For years I looked back and remembered that year as one of the best years of my life. The journey continues as I look back over the years and thank God from the most inner part of my being for showing me a new kind of normal. And it still continues...